Saturday, February 28, 2009

{the embarressing truth revealed}

OKAY, it's time. I'm too intimidated by blogs. This may be a clue to the fact that I tend to be a people pleaser. Alas, I've just finished checking out a few blogs, and I'm inspired.

What to write about? Binge eating. My husband left me to 'board' the mountains of Vermont. I have the home to myself (I know, for all of Friday evening through the dawn of Sunday morning, unbearable. What's a girl to do?)

Keep busy. Dinner with Lindsay, sleepover and breakfast with Katie, coffee with Joanna. In between? Catch up on all my to-do's of solitude (read, do art, spend time with God, do some work). Rather, what happened? A out-of-control-junk-food-fest. Even though I sensed an inner voice saying, "be self-controlled" in a soothing and quiet manner, My response was ignorance and rebellion. "well, in a bit, just ONE more chip..." Half a jar of cheese dip later, my stomach begins to protest with a rolling gurgle

[the evidence: Tostitos Cheese Dip]

After dealing with it, I take a two hour nap (flashback: in Bible study with the freshmen I confessed that I didn't want to neglect God's Word this week...this also popped into my mind as I moved onto different activities). Then I woke up and ate some Chocolate Panda Paw ice cream left over from last night. I was only going to have a spoonful, then go spend time in God's word. Before I know it, Loralie and Rory Gilmore have joined me with an open cart of quickly disapeering ice-cream.

[and of course the chocolate panda paws]

Needless to say, my self control is lacking. I need my husband around, then I can once again pretend I'm more healthy and better at proportions. And I just need him. Funny, he forgets to eat when I'm gone, and I...well, you know.

*sigh* At least I was inspired by the Word of God later. His grace is sufficient for me, that's for sure. And though I have suffered the consequences, I know that 'there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus'. Not even when it comes to stuffing your selfish, control-less, ignorant little face because you are lonely. I think I've decided that I'm not an introvert. Just a home-body.

(Don't worry, I didn't eat any more. I did art play (not work) instead and blogged).

[togetherness=happy and healthy]